Life goes on... *March 22, 2010

It's a bit funny but well yeah,  from Friday on I feel heartbroken and angry about myself, angry because of my over pulled acting, how I behave to people and how I speak. I still have not learned from life…  remember "WHAT EVER COMES OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH, IT DOESN'T GO
this is my 9th week that i have not being smoking…  how sweet, isn't it ?!!

The Reason and who I really want to thank is Gwen, this special and unique human kind gave me the spirit to do this, I actually talk to my self about that and argue against myself.

It's a bit funny but well yeah,  from Friday on I feel heartbroken and angry about myself, angry because of my over pulled acting, how I behave to people and how I speak. I still have not learned from life…  remember "WHAT EVER COMES OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH, IT DOESN'T GO BACK" and that is what I never being remembering in my life, hope that I have enough of this and grow up.

Saturdays I couldn't hold on this any more, I decided to buy cigarettes and yes I did.  Came out from the shop and already was searching for my lighter while holding the cigarette in my mouth, I was scared , I felt strange, like superstition feeling but it was more like my EGO was talking to me,  I asked him " Who do you love , cigarette or her ? "  This question just left me there in the middle of the street, I was all confused and I again heard  my EGO saying that "it's not fair, it's not fair".  After this 20 second fight against my EGO I took out my cigarette and kept in the box back. This feeling after it was amazing, I was feeling something new, a new Alex a new path that I decided to chose…

Who ever is reading this is not in my interests , I just keep writing it for me and thanks to my best friend Tika, she gave me this site :].

What is a ego?
An EGO is your second YOU, a believed strength that lives inside  you and have the faith for it that it exists. Myself  I had many EGOs,  but in the age of 14-18 my last ego is really dangerous and not a pleasure to meet him.

Since I moved in London I was living by myself, parents were in Germany and Georgia. The good thing that I was all alone was that I found my self but too much lonlyness is dangerous, that is why my EGO has been developed and I lost myself. One of the good things that Life brought me by is that you learn from mistakes but if you do the mistakes over and over you regret, as I do now.